An frequently asked question but one that's response can be so hard to put into words.

I have had trouble expressing how I feel in the past; not wanting to hurt someone's feelings or give them the wrong impression, so I go along with whatever it is they want (I'm talking minor things here people, like weekend plans).  I was always nervous to say how I really felt in fear it would come across the wrong way or they would perceive it incorrectly.  A problem that most people who know me intimately might not think I have.  You see, I have been described as outgoing, friendly, loud, bossy, someone with a strong-personality... confident.  You wouldn't think someone with those traits, those qualities, would have a hard time speaking their mind.

And sometimes I don't.  Sometimes I speak my mind very clearly.

But sometimes it is much harder.  Sometimes I fall into the 'yes-trap' and have a hard time saying no.  Sometimes I accept invitations, plans, ideas when I really don't want to.  And hey, sometimes it's great to compromise, but when you find yourself saying yes when you really want to say no more often than not, that's when a change is due.

About a year ago, a friend recommended a book to me: 'The Disease to Please' by Harriet B. Braiker (a Doctor) and within the first 20 pages, I was totally doing the, 'Yes, this is so me.  I'm so this type of people pleaser!'.  There are three types of 'pleasers' in the book and your type is established through a series of mini-questions and surveys.  It's shocking how accurate it is.

I didn't end up finishing the book, just got busy with other stuff, but I really feel like the first quarter of the book already fed me so much.  Already fulfilled me so much.  It was a little bit eye-opening and surprising too.

I have been working on saying no over the past year.  This has to do with people-pleasing; always wanting to say yes to please others.  It's not easy, but over time it gets easier.  I read a fantastic quote though, about a month ago, "Learning to say no can be very difficult at first because the people around you that have been interacting with you have become used to you saying yes.  The other person may get angry, and then you have to know that their anger has nothing to do with you.  It has to do with them.  Just remember to say to yourself: When I say no to you, I'm saying yes to me."

Isn't that so true?

I might as well entitle this post, 'Sleep Problems, the new version of #firstworldproblems' because in no big way is this 'problem' really that big... but it's frustrating.

Lately, I have been having trouble sleeping.  Now, I have had my fair share of sleep problems throughout the last tumultuous year but have come a long way.  So much so that my problems relating to sleep on that front, dissipated a while ago.  So what's going on with my body, or should I say mind, now?  Well, to me it feels like attack of the social media. 

Okay.  This is going to sound crazy.

I know this because it seems crazy to me.

I feel with all the social media out there, and being someone who loves to be a part of it (Twitter, Instagram, blogging... etc.), it's hard to catch a breath and shut down.  I feel like I'm constantly plugged in, and while I love it, it sometimes makes me anxious.  Anxious!  Can you believe that?!  I'm anxious over social media and it's supposed to be an enjoyable, free thing.  So weird.

At night, especially on Sundays (the night before the week begins!), I find myself replaying things over and over in my mind.  I'm trying to think if I'm caught up; is my blog post done for the next day?  Did I check Twitter?  What are my 'friends' doing on Instagram?  What do I need to do this week?  Will I have content or something to talk about on my blog?  Did I buy milk?  What is next on the check-list for MOH duties for my sister's upcoming wedding?  Is there food for lunch tomorrow to take to work?  What the hell am I going to wear?!

Now admittedly those aren't all social media anxieties, but they get compiled in with my other worries as I try to drift off into la-la-land, which makes it oh-so-frustrating.

I have tried sleep apps on my phone (waves & rain work best for me) but the anxiety rolls on.  I have taken Melatonin a couple times but I try not to do this frequently as I don't want to become dependent; and while it works, I worry about the idea of even taking some sort of pill to sleep.  Isn't that bad?  And shouldn't someone like me who doesn't really have a real 'problem', be able to fall asleep without some sort of aid?

Do any of you suffer from social-media-anxiety?  Sounds so silly.  What about sleep problems?  Real sleep problems.

Outfit deets:

* Old Navy button down that I've had for years.  The last time I wore it was with dark denim (flared this time), no cami underneath and the same belt!  Sub-concious inspiration?  Also seen with a leopard skirt and the white/grey striped version.

* Smart set cami.

* Sirens jeans which I don't think I've blogged before but do wear them frequently.

* Aldo wedges which I picked up last fall and am so glad I did because they are chic, comfy and easy to walk in.  Plus I love pairing them with jeans.

* Accessories: H&M belt & thick bangle, Old Navy bangle, Pandora bracelet & Suzy rings.

I am a bad reactor.  

If someone does something I don't like, namely someone close to me, I might react badly.

I like to be in control.  You can't always be in control.  Someone who likes to be in control but isn't can sometimes have a bad reaction.  

Whoopsies.

I have discussed negative qualities on my blog before; we all have them, it's inevitable, but it's how we handle those traits.

I had an interesting discussion with my parents last weekend about reactions.  Without going into too much detail, my Dad (who I consider one of the most laid-back people I know) offered up some advice on this topic.  Now, before I spill the words of wisdom, you must know that this is a very simple piece of advice, but very difficult to execute:

Don't react.

That's it!  That's it?  Yes, that's it.  Simple and effective, but certainly not easy.  

A counselor once told me when you are put into a situation where you emotions are getting the best of you, your brain immediately turns to 'fight or flight'.  If you take the simple step of taking a deep breath in through the nose and a big exhale through the mouth, the two options (fight or flight) will dissapate and you will be able to more calmly react.

So with those two words of advice, I have been putting this to the test since Monday, and you know what?  It kind of works.  That's not to say I didn't want to errupt at times or fly off the handle (or actually did for that matter), but it did put a thought into me that I've never had before: don't react.

Try it for yourself and see if it works!

And one from Instagram (follow me):