An frequently asked question but one that's response can be so hard to put into words.

I have had trouble expressing how I feel in the past; not wanting to hurt someone's feelings or give them the wrong impression, so I go along with whatever it is they want (I'm talking minor things here people, like weekend plans).  I was always nervous to say how I really felt in fear it would come across the wrong way or they would perceive it incorrectly.  A problem that most people who know me intimately might not think I have.  You see, I have been described as outgoing, friendly, loud, bossy, someone with a strong-personality... confident.  You wouldn't think someone with those traits, those qualities, would have a hard time speaking their mind.

And sometimes I don't.  Sometimes I speak my mind very clearly.

But sometimes it is much harder.  Sometimes I fall into the 'yes-trap' and have a hard time saying no.  Sometimes I accept invitations, plans, ideas when I really don't want to.  And hey, sometimes it's great to compromise, but when you find yourself saying yes when you really want to say no more often than not, that's when a change is due.

About a year ago, a friend recommended a book to me: 'The Disease to Please' by Harriet B. Braiker (a Doctor) and within the first 20 pages, I was totally doing the, 'Yes, this is so me.  I'm so this type of people pleaser!'.  There are three types of 'pleasers' in the book and your type is established through a series of mini-questions and surveys.  It's shocking how accurate it is.

I didn't end up finishing the book, just got busy with other stuff, but I really feel like the first quarter of the book already fed me so much.  Already fulfilled me so much.  It was a little bit eye-opening and surprising too.

I have been working on saying no over the past year.  This has to do with people-pleasing; always wanting to say yes to please others.  It's not easy, but over time it gets easier.  I read a fantastic quote though, about a month ago, "Learning to say no can be very difficult at first because the people around you that have been interacting with you have become used to you saying yes.  The other person may get angry, and then you have to know that their anger has nothing to do with you.  It has to do with them.  Just remember to say to yourself: When I say no to you, I'm saying yes to me."

Isn't that so true?

    Before                                                                                    After

So you want to bleach your denim?  Cool.  Do you have patience?  Even better.  I bought this Gap denim jacket at the thrift store in the spring with the intent of doing this DIY, however, when I got it home I decided I really liked it and didn't want to change it.  Then, when I saw the photo above on the left from an outfit post, I realized I really didn't like this jacket as much as I thought and so it went to the DIY pile.  I finally have gotten around to posting this, so sorry for the delay.

Using an old Windex bottle, I filled it with bleach and sprayed the jacket.  A lot.  And when I say a lot, I really mean I ended up pouring bleach onto the jacket because spraying wasn't doing jack squat.

 I used an old toothbrush to spread out the bleach I poured onto the jacket and brush it into areas.  

I really focused on the seams.  Once dry, I washed and dried the jacket.

Ta-dah!  (more pictures here)

I seem to be one of those people that others like to strike up a conversation with.  I'm not sure what it is, but it happens all-the-time.  And I'm so 'nice' I just go with it, and will end up having full conversations with strangers so as to not be 'rude'.  What's up with that?  I mean, if we want to get morbid, typically women can be victimized based on that quality, so it's always something to keep in the back of your head, but, back to what I was saying... so while shooting this outfit, thinking I was in a fairly desolate place, sure enough an older man comes walking out from behind this building with his miniature dog.  First he looked at me, then he was just plain staring, and by the time he got close he must have felt that urge that people feel when they see me, he just had to strike up a conversation.  He started slewing out facts about what the building I was standing up against used to be (a mink farm), and how much they used to pay in rent monthly ($10k), and how this one family owned it for years (since the 1800's).  All the while I politely smiled and nodded and acted very interested.  Meanwhile, I was actually freezing as I'd taken off my overcoat at this time and it was only 4 degrees Celcius.  He finally walked away and I jumped back into my heated car and drove off.  Sheesh.