I think we can all agree we've dated some interesting people in the past, and there is a reason those people are in our past, right? Right. And I think with each relationship, we learn a bit about ourselves, our likes, dislikes and what we would consider a dating deal breaker.
And the obvious disclaimer being that it's important to compromise in a relationship and work together and blah blah blah. But let's get to the nitty gritty.
I can easily, off the top of my head, list off several things I do not want in a partner. It's important to me that someone is motivated to work hard, ambitious, has good hygiene, patient, friendly and easy going. I also cannot stand someone who is cheap (and have dated someone like that before and it was terrible, to say the least) or has a bad temper. These are deal breakers for me. Cannot see past them. Cannot accept them.
I know my own weaknesses and while I work on those, I look for strengths in my partner that I don't necessarily possess as it often creates a good balance and we can learn from one another.
What are your deal breakers and what are you willing to see past?
A dealbreaker for me is being overly needy and clingy. I dated a guy that would call me like 25 times a day and show up at my apartment unannounced and uninvited. Not cool! I need my space.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you on the cheapness thing. Financial responsibility is cool, but when you tip exactly 15% (and not a penny more) or drive 20 miles to save 2 cents a gallon on gas,that is out of control and I won't tolerate it.
Smoking is a big no-no for me. Good hygiene would also be a deal breaker. If you stinky....no kinky! LOL!
ReplyDeleteAnother one would be a bad temper. I hate when a BF flies off the handle for no good reason.
For a serious relationship, I also don't think that I would be in one with someone who doesn't drink at all. That may sound superficial but enjoying a drink or two to relax or having fabulous wine with a nice meal is one of my FAV things to do! So being with someone on a day-in day-out basis that doesn't enjoy that too...well I think that would be hard to get past (long term). Great topic, keep'em comin'!
@AA: omg, good call on the tipping and too clingy, I agree!! I want attention, I don't want to be smothered. I don't want to be insecure about your whereabouts, but I like missing someone to a certain extent.
ReplyDelete@MelMac: GOOD CALL! Smoking is a deal breaker for me too, why didn't I think of that!? ;) And agree, the drinking thing, it's not superficial and I find it somewhat awkward with a friend when they won't have a drink, so a partner like that would not be so ideal.
I really could make this into a long list but then I would look shallow and superficial lol. However, the main thing I could not deal with is someone who has no drive in life. Still living at home at 30 and clubbing every weekend? Nope!
ReplyDeleteI would also never date someone who is over protective or possesive (been there done that!) I'm too indepedent to have to check in with someone all the time!
I agree with all the deal breakers above! Smoking, clingy, etc. all awful.
ReplyDeleteI also agree with the bit about no drive in life. The top things I'm attracted to are a sense of humour and drive/passion in life - so if someone doesn't possess those - it's a no go. I also like that the person above mentioned a guy living at home still... I just met a wonderful guy (in his early 30's) recently but he lives at home! I don't want to sound awful but I really don't think I can get past it. Is it awful? I'm just proud and happy with where I am in life and that just feels like he's a step (a leap?) back.
Seemingly obvious - a liar! NO DEAL!
ReplyDelete... and all the wonderful things contributed above!
- LC
@Anon: I totally understand. I've dated a couple guys (one more seriously than another) that both lived at home. At first, I wasn't thrown, but over time I couldn't help but wonder WHY they still lived at home... it became very unattractive. I would not be able to date someone that lives at home now, having been through it especially.
ReplyDeleteI, too, agree with all of the deal breakers your other readers have listed. Smoking, not drinking, being clingy, etc... One thing that makes me uncomfortable (or used to in the past)is when a guy wanted to buy me things all the time. I was dating a guy who, on my 20th birthday, sent two dozen roses, an expensive necklace, gift cards to Express (and VS and Coach)...I mean it was nice and all, but OVERKILL! It made me super uncomfortable and after we broke up I fely like I owed him! LOL.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I watch for is the way he treats waiters or doormen. If he's rude or mean, its over. I can't stand unneccesary rudeness!
ReplyDeleteAlso smoking is disgusting imo.